It's funny how understanding comes about sometimes. I have read your blog for a couple of years now and in many instances you mention this idea about connecting with your audience. It's not about your magic and how well you can "do" the magic. It's more, deeper than that. I guess I couldn't relate because I hadn't performed enough. Not that I have performed enough yet. But I am beginning to see.
I performed last night for a 75 year old woman's birthday. A favor for her son. He saw me perform at church two weeks ago. On that day there was this connection that happened. Something I had never really felt before to this magnitude. Something ethereal. It was like "WOW." That's what this is all about! I got a "HIGH" from it that lasted a couple of days. But last night was like a dull thud to me. The magic was good, but there was no connection between the performer, (me) and the audience. (them)
Looking at what I just wrote, makes me see something. It is not supposed to me and them but rather "US." Together, a meshing of the audience and the performer going along on the same joy ride experience. Did I fail? I don't know. What can I do to gain from last nights performance? I performed. I did my best, and there were moments in there that I felt a little connectedness. I saw astonishment and wonder and bewilderment on the faces of audience members. I heard intakes of breath in more than one instance. There was applause. Afterward many people said they enjoyed the show. But I feel I didn't turn them on, you know!?
So what was missing? And how do I make sure to rise above it and move on and grow and become better? These are of course rhetorical questions, but they are what and where my mind is heading at this moment while pondering. Is this a sign of growth? Scary isn't it! Because of the lack of feeling and connectedness, I feel kind of low. The other side of the spectrum from two weeks ago. Pretty weird I gotta tell you.
Well, Tom, I think of you often, and now maybe I understand you and what you go through a wee bit more.
Thanks for the magic...
I love you man,