In my "Out Box"

Dear John,

Happy Birthday!!!! Big “18” I can hardly believe that 18 years have passed since I drove your mother to Jewish Hospital and watched as Norm performed an emergency C Section to get you out of there. I got to say it was one of the happiest days of my life, watching you be born into the world.

It’s painful to write these words as I know you have little interest, in anything to do with me. I have loved you with all my heart since that day and even before. I have to say your term in utero was probably the best documented pregnancy in the history of video cameras. I shot all the ultra sounds and heartbeats from every office visit.

I ran across the video animation project you did, on the web. Great work! I’ve always know you’ve had talent in that area. I remember people telling me that it was crazy to get a 12 year old his own video camera. I got it for you anyway, I knew that you would take care of it. Seems like a lifetime ago that we were a family at all., with Cricket. . . or with Moira and the little kids.

All I ever wanted to do, was do right by you and take care of my family. I wanted to always be there for you and to see that you had a good life. I’m not sure why things went so awry that we haven’t spoke in over a year. You didn’t want to move to LA . . . I get it. Now lets move on.

You’re 18 years old now and your own man. I hope as you grow and mature, that you will allow me the pleasure and privilege of being part of your life. . . please.

If you don’t know it, I’ll tell you right now; I love you and think the world of you. There is no limit to my unconditional love.

I understand your anger concerning issues of the past. We can’t change the past, but we can change the present and the future by what we put in our hearts and our minds. Let’s start the healing. I love you so much and think about you every day.

Happy Birthday

Love Dad