LA Fitness

Daunting, the blank page mocks me. It beckons me to spew my bullshit all over it. It tries to convince me that I have an interesting point of view, but I know better. You see, I spend all day, every day, with myself and find me to be, pleasantly dull and curiously boring.

The page, which really isn’t a page at all (oh, that hurts), fuck it, I’m just telling the truth, your a fucking computer screen. A word processing document. Your not a page, and you never will be (ouch). “Enough!”, my computer screams. It doesn’t matter whether or not I’m a fucking piece of paper, or a God damned million pixels. Write something asshole, lets see you do it. I will when I’m good and ready. Hey I could wait for the laughs, but this place closes at midnight.

For the last 2 days my trusted pal Aaron, Polly and I spent some time at the gym. OK, I’m a fatty, I admit it. In fact I like nothing better than admitting I’m a fatty while stuffing my face with Lays Classic Potato Chips and swilling an ice cold Pepsi. Oh yeah, this always works better at 12:30AM after a bong hit or 6.

Aaron and I have been hiking for months, every morning up by the Hollywood Sign in Bronson Canyon. Now that we’ve created a habit and have shown interest in taking things to the next lever of physical fitness, were committing to weight training. The last two days have been interesting. Aaron has quietly guided me through my social faux pas and continues to instruct me on what not to do at the gym. He did assure me, that if I kept up, I had a good chance of finding a boyfriend.

We pulled and pushed and squatted and grunted. I tell you, there was nothing pretty about this picture. Actually there was, Occasionally I would look across the room and see my doll baby, Polly riding the bike. Not being one who has ever spent any time in a gym, the last two days have felt great and there is a strange sense of reward that goes with the mild pain and soreness. Aaron and I are looking into a weight training boot camp that happens at 6AM in Hollywood. We’ll do that 3 days a week and hump the hill on the other days.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.