Been searching for beauty in my work, the artistry. . . the outward demonstration of joy and the desire to share a unique experience with the audience. I just struggled with what word to use. My first inclination, was to use the word crowd, but thought the word audience sounded more refined. Perhaps that's a fundamental issue. What's the difference between a crowd of people watching something and an audience? Chairs. . .
Every night I go to work, as I'm leaving the house, I come up with some half baked strategy for the evening. The other night (after seeing Man on Wire) the strategy du jour, was to find the beauty in what I was doing. Found it in the strangest place that night. In my deck pitch. I can't get most people to tip a buck for an entertaining show. . . but I can get them to hand me $25 for a Stripper Deck. It's beautiful thing that I fine tuned over the years of owning magic shops.
The next night, still searching for the beauty in my work; I had a new notion. I wondered why I only measure the beauty of the magic by external factors like audience reaction and the money I make. It's fucked up, when I'm making money, everything is great. . . . when I'm not. . . . I can't see the beauty. I work at the Universal CityWalk for people coming out of Universal Studios, at the end of a long day of being over stimulated by the magic of Hollywood and the excitement of a theme park with roller coasters. They're hot, tired, broke and emotionally spent. But, bless their hearts, they stop and watch. . react or not, tip or not. If I've learned anything in this life, it's all a crapshoot.
Things are tough out there and I'm really feeling it in my hat. My peak season numbers were down over 50% from last year. . . OUCH!!!! People are scared, and they're holding on to their money. . . while they drink $4 coffee's from Starbucks.
Is a flower any less beautiful if it never gets seen? Is the art, that I'm working hard to bring forth, any less beautiful, because I didn't make money? I did some beautiful magic last night. Multiple card selections/revelations. 4 handed and 8 handed poker deals. Esoteric Coin Manipulations (that no one cares about), the linking rings. The money I made sucked and the people seemed cheaper than their usual puckered ass selves as Wall Street Crashes over 700 points in two days. But hey, I found the beauty. It's a simple thing. To smile. . . to live. . . to love. . . . to learn. . . and grow.
I got a great life