Thinking about my dad. A recent bout with cancer shook the fabric of our family. Scary operations overseas. Didn't stop him from touring the alps for a week on a motorcycle. I love my dad. Now back stateside, he went under the knife yesterday for more surgery. Scary shit that he's taking in stride. He's my hero, you know? If I ever thought that I understood a lifestyle based on hedonism, I'm humbled in his midst. Funny thing is, he credits me as to his zeal for pleasure and self indulgence. I'm flattered and honored to know him and call him dad.
I think about my kids and the years that have been stolen from us. I think about my dad and remember that it wasn't till my mid twenties that I actually got to know him. Divorce can be cruel yes. Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional. We cannot avoid pain, but we can avoid joy.
Polly and I are celebrating 5 wonderful, love filled years together. In that time, I've come to grips with a great many things. I've been humbled by the hateful decisions made by my ex-wife Moira. Specifically, preventing me from seeing my kids. It's been 5 years since I've seen or hugged them. So be it. I am here for them anytime. I ask frequently for them to visit me or offer to come up there and spend time with them. As my children become strangers, I'm finding out who I am without them. It's not what I wanted or bargained for, it's they way she wanted it and paid for it to be that way. Such is life.
I've decided to be happy. I have a great life! I live in sunny California with a great girl who I've known since I was 15, and really gets me. 5 years and not one argument, that's got to be some sort or record. Polly's hiatus ended this week and now it's back to 12 hours days working on CSI:Miami. As for me, I'm in the heart of the peak season at the Universal CityWalk. Working 7 nights a week, makes me feel good and productive. My act continues to devolve and is becoming a study in minimalism. It's not exactly what I want, but the reality is, I'm making more, doing less. . . . go figure. Last night I had the best night in a year!
I've been in contact with Buster and Hope, so there is hope. Good Day Sunshine.