Like rocks rolling around in my head, thoughts have a way of getting stuck. Bothered lately that I haven't heard from Buster all summer and finding out recently that he's been working on his mom pretty good not to send him here to go to school and let him stay there. Arrrggghh I would feel a lot better just knowing what's going on with him. I miss him and know that we could all have a great life here.
Next week my youngest child Liam will be 5 years old. It breaks my heart that he will grow from being a little kid and not really know me. I'll send him a gift, a letter, put in a call to him and sing him happy birthday. . . what else can I do. It's been years since I have been permitted to see any of them on their birthdays.
Perhaps the worst part of my tizzy is that without my 4 four kids, I might actually have to look at myself as an individual and evaluate what I see. That's a scary thought.
Strip away all the layers of emotional baggage and peer into the center of my soul.
Fuck that. . . no one is that brave.
I'll give it some thought. . .