Thursday, November 30, 2006

Buster

Where did you go my happy son

I used to push you on the swing and take naps with you.

I fed you and stayed up at night with you

I sang to you and loved you. . .

And believe it or not, you used to love me

and come to work with me

You were on the road with me as a 3 year old performing in Comedy Clubs

I potty trained you on the road, in a van with a kiddie potty and no mommy

You demo'ed in my stores and street performed

I didn't know any other 9 year olds who could make $100 in a day at festival

We did homework together every night, even though we didn't like it

Where did you go my happy son

To hear it from you, somehow I have beaten, even the desire to live out of your, fucking deranged, teenage mind. Today you told me that if I didn't let you live with your Aunt Annie and her family, that you were going to kill yourself. Then you assured me that you were telling it, like it is.

Tears flow out of my eyes and my stomache wretches, as I absorb the pain that is searing deep within my heart. I believe with all my heart and soul that the best place for you is, in my care. Call me old school, but I wonder if skull cracking isn't a better way to discipline. I've been soft shoeing around you since you got here over 3 months ago.

I pray for clarity of mind and more compassion than the day before. More compassion backed with unconditional love. Patience and more compassion.

You didn't want to move to LA and now you are refusing to participate in your own life, unless it involves your death.

Helpless

I will love you and show you the way. I will never give up on you.

I love you

3 comments:

Your Friend said...

As a parent of a teenage son with psychological problems, this is NOT something you can help him with. You need to get him to a inpatient/hospital treatment center and fast, before it is too late.

Good Luck, it is the hardest decision a parent can make.

YOUR BROTHER, YOUR FRIEND said...

THAT OR LET HIM LIVE WITH HIS AUNT. YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL. SKULL CRACKING IS NEVER THE WAY, YOU KNOW THIS BETTER THAN ANYONE.HAVE HIM CALL ME ANYTIME

Anonymous said...

Frank, you poor guy....I was a single parent of two daughters and a son for eight and one half years....I also have an MA minor in Counselling....Here is my tip:

None of the book crap works....Ask the person you love most in this whole universe WHAT HE WANTS, and let him do it...Chances are, you will only be out TWO ONE-WAY AIRLINE TICKETS, in the long run...(at his age, there ain't no right answers; there is just trying everything...)

Chances are, when you give him a choice, he will stay.....

opie (yeah, that one from austin)